I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize