no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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