either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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