Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
