i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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