The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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