can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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