dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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