i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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