I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
