You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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