is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
