PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
should my penis look like a turkey
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
COCAINE IS GR8
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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