You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
