Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
