please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
