Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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