we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
