eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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