I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
