So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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