May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Randomize
