Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
