This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
