Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize