just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
do nipples grow back?
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