Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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