Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
