Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
