i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
