R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
