just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
