if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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