i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
