I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
