i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
