I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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