whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
