i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
