I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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