Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
