I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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