i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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