sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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