best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
