First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
