physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
