im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
