we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize