Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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