The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
