I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
