no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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