I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
