She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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