If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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