also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
