Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
