But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
