The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
