New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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