you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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