Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
PANTIES FOUND
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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