never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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