Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
