I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
