I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You pole danced in your parka.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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